Connecting with the Power of your Femininity
To all my ladies in the place–
I am honestly not sure if any men actually read this blog, however if you are one of the few you can take this week to sit this one out. Rather, send it to a woman who you love because this is one all of us ladies could use.
Since the moment we are born, we are programmed with the desire to do it all. We are told our lives are meant to have supreme meaning; a fulfilling career, a rom com relationship, beautiful children, and so on. We are fed this idea that women are supposed to be elegant, beautiful, clean, smart, cool, organized, sexy, innocent, quiet, social, fun, etc. And so we grow up with this vision in our minds that we should be and do it all.
By the time we reach our early 30s, we are burnt the fuck out. If we don’t have a fulfilling career, we envy the females who do; if we don’t have the perfect partner we spend endless hours in search of the person who will complete us; if we don’t have children we hear from the elders in our family how we are not getting any younger. All of this misinformation, all of this pressure, all of these expectations are driving us further and further away from our authentic feminine energy.
The power of our femininity is not based on how beautiful we are, how many healthy children we are able to birth, how organized we are, or how much fun we are. The power of our femininity is based on the level of authentic energy that we project out into the world. I will say that again for the people in the back.
The power of our femininity is based on the level of authentic energy that we project out into the world.
Meaning: If we are living heavy in our masculine, i.e. we are exhausted, overworked, stressed, and uninspired, we have trouble connecting with our authenticity; we will struggle to identify with the work that our soul incarnated on this earth to do. Now don’t get me wrong, tapping into your masculine can help you move mountains. It is how women won the right to vote. It is how women started six-figure businesses. It is how women wrote NY Times best-selling books. The power behind a woman who can consciously connect with her masculine is her ability to tap back into the feminine when it is time to reconnect with her ‘self.’
So how do we connect with the power of our femininity, you ask? We stop trying to do it all. Rather than envying the woman next to you with a more fulfilling career, work to be more present in your current career. If your current career is dismantling your quality of life, maybe it is time to look for work elsewhere. If you are single, align yourself with the type of partner you want. They will come and you most likely will not find them on Hinge or Bumble. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, take time to discover whether your partner wants to work with you or if it is time for you to move on. You are never too old to move on. If you are not ready to have children or don’t want children, kindly tell your family to stop asking you about it. If your family cannot accept your wishes, maybe it is time to distance yourself until they can.
Stop striving to be the most beautiful, the coolest, the tidiest, the smartest, the sexiest, the purest, and the funnest woman. Every time you put yourself above other women in the name of looks and/or personality you are feeding the patriarchal stigma that our society holds against women. This is not an attack on men. This an attack on the patriarchal stigma against women that a majority of men (at least the ones I surround myself with) don’t even abide by today. And if you surround yourself with men (and women because there are women who are guilty of this too) who believe that you should do and be all of the things, then it is time to take an inventory of the people you surround yourself with.
What happens when you stop trying to do all of the things and you connect back with the power of your feminine energy? You become more aligned to the authentic version of yourself. The waves of anxiety and depression come less frequent. You begin to attract people who align with who you are and who you want to become. The work that you do naturally creates meaning in your life. You are able to create more time in your day for the rituals, hobbies, and activities that fire up your soul. The things that you have been praying for begin to evolve. Your soul’s purpose, also known as your dharma, naturally falls into your lap at the most unexpected moment.
I say all of this to you because this is something that I am most guilty of. I have spent the last 32 years of my life trying to do all of the things. Over the last several months, I have been slowly letting go of the expectations myself and others have of me. I cannot work three jobs and start a business at the same time, even though I tried. I cannot be a mother one day, work three jobs, and run a business, even though the idea’s crossed my mind. There is no time and no space where that would work for me in a healthy way. And all of this is okay. All of this has helped me connect back with my true femininity.
If you are a woman who is doing all of the things while living a healthy and joyful life, I am so fucking impressed. Please teach me your ways. However, if you are like me who cannot be deep in your masculine and connect back to the power of your feminine nature at the same time, I hope this resonates with you. As women, we are capable of some wild shit, but it is not a requirement of womanhood to be able to do it all.
