Bits of Wisdom for My 20-Something Self
Today marks my 33rd year around our beautiful, radiant sun. I feel an immense amount of gratitude for the current well-being of my mind, body, and spirit. It truly has me reflecting on my life as an adult thus far + how very much I have evolved over the last 13 years. While I do believe that all of the experiences I have encountered in my adulthood have led me to where I am today, there are some bits of wisdom I wish I could share with my younger self in hopes that it could ease some of her internal pain and heartache. If you are in your 20s, this baby is just for you and if you are 30+ know that the journey never ends. Let’s dive in…
This is just the beginning – As 20-somethings we rush through life. Finish college, thrive in a career, get married, and have babies. This is just the beginning of your journey. There isn’t a death sentence at age 30. Slow the fuck down.
Learn to love yourself first – Since childhood, I was on a mission to find Prince Charming. I never knew what healthy, secure love felt like, and I so desperately wanted to feel it. This put me in the midst of many unhealthy and unaligned relationships. The truth of the matter was, I had to learn to love myself first before finding Prince Charming.
Drunk doesn’t look good on you – I deadass used to drink with the intention of blacking out. I was kicked out of clubs//bars and put myself in situations that sober-me did not want to be in. Drunk isn’t cool or cute and it certainly won’t help you find what you’re searching for.
It doesn’t matter how good you look, if he wants to cheat, he will cheat – I used to believe my appearance could keep a man from cheating. If your partner needs attention from another woman to feel good about himself, he will seek that out no matter how beautiful you are.
The energy you put out is the energy you will receive – The law of attraction is a real thing, my friends. If you want to be treated with love and respect, you have to treat yourself and others with love + respect. In my early twenties, I treated my partner at the time very poorly. This came back to me tenfold when I found myself amidst a relationship where I repeatedly felt disrespected.
If it doesn’t align, let it go – In retrospect, I wasted so much money on degrees + continuing education. Two years after my undergrad, I thought it would be a good idea to go to law school. I took pre-law courses, started working as a paralegal part-time, and hired a tutor for the LSATs. Mid-way through, I knew this wasn’t part of my journey, yet I kept pushing through. After two years of putting in the work and spending a ridiculous amount of money, I ended up shutting it all down.
Trust your intuition – Your body knows what is healthy for you and what is going to cause you pain. Listen to it. My intuition offered me so much advice about men, jobs, and situations that I did not listen to. Trusting the signals that your body is sending you can save you a shit ton of heartache.
Your friendships will ebb and flow – I used to believe that if I didn’t hang out with someone for an extended period of time, we weren’t friends anymore. Truth is, this isn’t high school. We have whole ass lives outside of our friendships. Give your friends grace. Your true friends will stay connected in some way, shape or form no matter how much time has passed.
Injections won’t bring your sexy back – In my mid-20s, I felt so disconnected from my sexuality. In an attempt to feel sexy again, I put filler in my lips for four years. Little did I know that once I began to heal my heart, my connection to my sexuality would return. No shade if you get injections; do you. I won’t say I’ll never get them again, but back then, I was doing it for all the wrong reasons.
Your body keeps the score – As women, we are sacred vessels to the divine. Whoever you allow inside of your sacred vessel, you allow into your energy field for a long fucking time. We have been fed the idea that hook-up culture makes you a woman in control. In truth, this lifestyle left me feeling connected to individuals who I knew I did not align with. Save your sacred vessel for the person who is worth your energy.
The journey never ends – The journey to becoming your favorite version of yourself will never end. You will grow, evolve, and then grow and evolve some more until your soul transitions to its next lifetime. There is no end and no beginning. Life won’t get better when you have that baby, marry that person, or get that job. Life will get better when you learn to be more present with each moment of it.
As I was compiling this list, it was wild to see how much I have changed as an individual from 20 to 33 years old. It feels like it's been a lifetime since I’ve been my 20-something self. It makes me feel very excited to see what the future holds for me 10 years from now and then another 10 years after that. Aging is such a blessing that we have been fed the lie we should fear. I am grateful for this fresh new year of being me; for the privilege to open my eyes this morning surrounded by my pets + the humans that I love. If any of this resonates with you, please send me an email or DM. I love to hear your feedback!
xx
bree
