Seeking Softness in a Masculine World
Hey loves! Today’s topic was brought to you by Saturday’s Full Moon in Virgo. Her energy was fucking strong this month and forced me into a moment of change that my soul has been yearning for. I am naturally a live to work type of human. Since childhood, I have aligned my value with my productivity. I have two Virgo placements in my chart and my moon is in Capricorn so energetically my mind is in constant go mode. I live in a continuous state of yang. However, my soul does not align with this. Rather, it has been yearning for more stillness; more peace. If you resonate at all, this one's for you. Now let’s dive in…
It should be no surprise to you that we live in a masculine-structured society. You may know what I am talking about; the five-day work week accompanied by a job that expects you to arrive fully and completely for more than half of your day. In my own career, I often hear people brag about working through their lunch break and working well past their contracted hours. We have been conditioned to go go go and to feel some sort of shame if we are not constantly showing up. But, is this actually working for anyone? My guess is no.
This constant need for productivity goes far beyond our careers. We think we need to always be learning something new, buying something new, cooking, cleaning, working out, rinse and repeat. It never ends. So where did this all begin? When did society begin to think we needed to always be in go mode to be of value to the world? My theory is that it dates back to the boomers who were raised by parents literally just trying to survive in the midst of an economic crisis. The boomers raised gen x to adhere to the same values and so on. While I agree that income is necessary in this capitalist world (more than ever now as we see ourselves in the midst of another economic crisis), this style of living is just not sustainable long term.
So what do we do?
First and foremost, we begin to release the limiting belief that our value is determined by our productivity. If you cannot find value in the very fact that you are you, then you will continue to seek value externally. You will seek value in your role as a mother; you will seek value in your relationship with your partner; you will seek value through your career. Begin to release the idea that your value is determined by external stimuli and condition yourself to believe that you are of value by just being you. You will not be able to reap the benefits of a soft and gentle life if you believe your value is determined by something outside of YOU.
Although we live in a masculine-structured world, we can still find pockets of stillness throughout our days. Incorporating mindfulness practices such as meditation, yin yoga, breath work, walking, and journaling not only takes you out of your sympathetic nervous system (if we want to get scientific) but also brings you back to the present moment. Every time you become absolutely present with yourself, you settle deeper into your softness. It is within this softness that your creativity will flourish and gratitude takes over. You don’t have time for mindfulness practices, you say? Spend less time scrolling, less time on Netflix, and less time complaining. When you free yourself from distraction, you will create the time to invest in YOU.
Get to know yourself on a deeper level so you can decide what works for you and what doesn’t. It’s actually wild how many of us don’t really know ourselves. We identify so much with what we see on social media and what we see our friends doing that we can barely even identify what we want. A yin yoga practice may bring me heavy into my feminine, but may bring you anxiety and stress and that is okay. We are not all meant to find our softness by doing and being exactly the same. So how do you get to know yourself more? Spend some fucking time alone. I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but you are never going to go deep within yourself if you are surrounded by other energy all of the time. It is within the solitude that you will discover who you are and what your soul desires. You can also ecome familiar with your astrological birth chart and your human design in order to determine energetically what aligns with YOU.
Learning to live a soft and gentle life doesn’t just create more peace in your life, it allows for longevity. People who live happy and healthy lives well into their 90s and 100s don’t do it by running themselves into the ground. They do it by embodying the elements of life that bring them peace; that allow them to express themselves truly and authentically. They do it by seeking validation within themselves. If this resonates with you, I invite you to join Evolve, my 1:1 holistic life coaching program. Throughout this six month journey we dive deep into who you and who you want to become. It is through this experience that you will discover modalities and practices that lead you to your true and authentic softness. Schedule a call to learn more.
